Oct 10, 2012

Don't loose the balance between you and being a mommy



I originally was going to title this post, “Stay at home moms WTF?!” But thought, nah… then I was just going to only write in today’s post, “SAHM WTF?!”   THE END! And see what I got.  But, again, nah… you probably needed to know what my motivation is for asking stay at home moms WTF?  So here goes… Yes, it’s going to be a rant…
Since loosing my job in May, I have become a stay at home mom. My entire life is being a mom. I’m barely me anymore. I don’t mean that in a boo hoo I’m lost in the baby shuffle sort of way… ok maybe a little… What I am trying to say is, taking care of an infant is a lot of work, it’s a full-time and a half job.  I’m not really sure how it is so time consuming, but it is.  There not much time left for much else in a day.
My typical day is, wake up between 5:30-7, play with Ollie, nurse him and back to sleep at 9am. Up at 10-11, play, nurse back to nap for 30 minutes plus. This cycle repeats all day until 7:30pm when he goes to sleep.  At 9:30pm I will shower and hopefully crawl into bed by 11. I’ll write or watch TV in between Ollie’s bedtime and mine.
My entire day is devoted to being a mom. No make-up, nice clothes, lunch dates, shopping trips, mani/pedis, workouts, basically nothing adult. I’m all baby! I don’t want to be all baby. However, what is the point in getting all done up, and dragging Ollie out to a lunch date that will end in cranky bub? I’ve tried taking him shopping and that just full on sucks. I’m having a hard time finding a balance between being “Me” and “Mommy.”
I did meet a girlfriend for lunch last week, without Oliver. I pulled a dress over my head, brushed my teeth and hair and walked out the door. I didn’t put on make-up, jewelry, do my hair… I just didn’t even consider it, something I would NEVER have done prebaby. Never. Ever.  My lunch date looked fabulous. She is also my girlfriend who gave birth just 7 days after I did.  She’s back to work and looking amazing. She insisted she only looked like that because she had to for work. I nearly started crying at the table.  I felt like a lazy shit, with no excuse. I should have taken the time to fix myself up.
 I need to find a good balance so I can feel like a lady, and a mommy at the same time. I don’t want to get to the point where I say screw it, and no longer desiring to be a glamorous domestic goddess. Or, on the flip side, loose it and start nursing in heels for fun? I keep telling myself, what a blessing it is that I get stay home with my baby.  I will never get these days back. Soon enough I will find a job and be back at it, in fancy shoes.  
But, just incase I find a way to work from home… So, now I ask, Stay At Home Moms: WTF? What do you do to maintain your sanity? Is it possible to be fabulous and wipe butts at the same time? ?

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

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