Aug 23, 2012

What every expecting mother should know! Part III

(The following are comments posted on by the fabulous readers in response to my "Candy Coated Baby Crap" post." Basically these are the things I forgot in that post ALL expecting moms should know!  Thanks again Foodpixie, Jessi & Britmouth!)

1. Sleep when the baby sleeps: Are these people out of their minds? I can't just turn it on and off like some sleep wizard. Naps generally make me feel worse anyway. And there are some things I most certainly needed to get done while the baby sleeps like bottle wash, or feeding myself.

2.Take time for yourself: This is almost impossible. The first few months I was lucky to get enough time to shower, cook for myself and eat, and do all the paperwork for the new baby and the house. But most of the time (and this is still true), when I do get a few minutes (like when baby sleeps), the time I take for myself involves me vegging out on the sofa in front of the t.v. or laptop, or behind a book. I wouldn't call it quality time, just a 10-15 minute break.

3.Motherhood is a full time job: No, it's an all-the-time, high stress job. It never stops and it's never going to end. It is for life. There are no breaks or vacations and at times the work is mind numbing, isolating, and full of worry. Don't get me wrong, it is also the most rewarding job. But this tidbit really can't be emphasized enough to anyone thinking of having a baby.
-Foodpixie might take some time to bond with your baby. I thought and expected that the mother/child bond would be instantaneous and overwhelming. That was not the case with me. It took me a good 5 or 6 weeks before I really felt that love and protection for my daughter. I felt SO guilty about it, too. I remember crying at my doctor's appointment and telling her that I must be such a bad mother because I didn't feel much of a connection with my baby. She reassured me that it was completely normal and that most women feel that way even with subsequent children. That was news to me! I felt like shit for weeks for not feeling instant love toward her. I thought it was going to have a detrimental effect on her and the guilt was awful. Come to find out, it's normal to not instantly connect with your baby. It's normal to wish that you had your old life back. It's normal to wish it were just you and your husband again. I had no idea! I also found out that if you have a difficult delivery, as I did, that these feelings of disconnect can be much more severe and take longer to get over.

5.feet and ankles would swell to EIGHT TIMES their normal size a few days after giving birth. I was clueless so when I woke up the morning after coming home from the hospital and could harldy move, I just sat in the recliner and sobbed. I felt so horrible! I figured postpartum swelling would have set in during my hospital stay, if I were going to get it, so I was completely unprepared when it set in 4 days after my delivery.

6.the post-labor constipation and subsequent BM would be absolutely AWFUL! Maybe some women didn't get it as bad as I did but I will prepare any of my pregnant friends that it's a real possibility and that stool softeners may do nothing. Be prepared with an at home enema in my opinion.


7. How difficult an painful my own recovery would be, nevermind candy coating it!! It was insanely hard and extremely painful to even move around for the first couple of weeks!! 

8. you can't rest in bed to recover because there is a crying baby that needs all your attention first.

9.having every friend and family member visit in the first two weeks just makes adjusting to home life that much harder, especially when still learning to breastfeed - awkward!


Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit