Feb 9, 2012

Breastfeeding


Breastfeeding SUCKS ASS!!  I hate it, I mean full on dread it.  Why does it have to be so damn hard to get it right?  Don’t get me wrong, the act of breastfeeding in itself is easy.  What I mean is if you don’t mind the baby sucking in your nipple, making it and your areola feel like they are being processed through a meat grinder and then returned 20 minutes later looking that way, you will thoroughly enjoy breastfeeding.  If you want to get the latch correct, feel like you are bonding with your baby and have your nipple returned to you looking the way it did when baby took it, then best wishes to you! 

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THREE LACTATION CONSULTANTS!!  Not like I have been through three who have failed me and had to be punished, I had two at the hospital and one at the pediatrician’s, all have said about the same thing, all have failed to get through my thick skull!  In fact everything I have heard and read tell you to point the nipple at the nose, and when baby opens mouth wide drop the nipple in and off you go.  Well, maybe off everyone else goes! I try and try and dammit I just cannot get it right.  It is so effing frustrating. 

I refuse to give up though.  I just keep trying and trying. Inevitably every two or three feedings I have to pump because my meat-grinded nipple is so bruised, scabbed and scared that the pain-good latch or not-is too much to deal with.  SHIT! 

I guess it is getting better, but breastfeeding, for me at least, is a true labor of love.  I love my baby, I want to provide the breastfeeding benefits, but dammit for how much longer I am not sure.  A good friend of mine told me to, “just breastfeed today and then start formula tomorrow.”  It’s kind of like the Alcoholics Anonymous mindset of “one day at a time.” It also helps that I don’t have any formula in the house.

I refuse to feel bad about not being able to naturally breastfeed perfectly.  I am feeding my son, he is not loosing weight, he is fattening up and is happy.  So what if my breasts hurt.  So what if I have to pump to let my breast heal-which they do quickly.  I am doing the best damn job I can, and so far that’s enough for Oliver and me.  

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

14 comments:

  1. They need a different "reaction" button... I like the "one day at a time" motto for it- it sucks in the beginning (at least you didn't have to pump exclusively in the beginning- made it twenty times worse!), but eventually you just lose feeling in your nipples (lol) and your baby will just know when/where/why/how and take all the effort out of it. In the meantime, no shame in taking a break for a feeding and letting Dad bond a bit over a bottle!

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    1. The idea of an auto pilot just gave me strength for another day! Thank you Jessika!!!

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  2. I am so glad you posted about this, I was going to ask. You are doing great, and remember you can always just pump, no need for formula unless you cannot produce milk. But knowing how sore your breasts were, and how big they got, I'll bet you are one heck of a milk factory.

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    1. I have enough in my factory to sustain my entire family, including the cat!

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  3. I did not succeed last time with breastfeeding, except for the one time my son latched successfully in week 2. Sigh. However, that one time hurt!! My best friend told me that the first few weeks will be incredibly painful and then your nipples toughen up. I plan on trying again to breastfeed and hope to have more success since I won't be separated from my baby girl after the birth!

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    1. That's what I'm doing... The best I can if that is not good enough, formula is!

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  4. Did anyone suggest using a nipple guard? It's worked WONDERS for me.

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    1. Actually, my lactation consultant told me today to use it as my last resort before buying formula. My first few days were so bad that it appears my latch is ok, it's just my nipples still nedd time to heal, then everything will be better.

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  5. It will get better I promise! I remember with my first daughter I was SO ready to give up.. It hurt, I was exhausted, she was frustrated, formula just seemed so much easier, I came out on the couch one morning with my mind made up I was done trying, I turned the TV on a news blurb came on talking about the benefits of breast feeding and that a new study had shown breast fed babies tend to have higher IQ's (of course I'm not saying that is true) but it was a "sign" for me to power through, 2 days later I swear we could have won a breast feeding competition, it just clicked. I'm so so glad I stuck with it. Good luck to you! :)

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    1. Thank you Shelby! Your post is my "Sign." I'd just be happy with Honorable Mention!

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  6. Oh and medela nipple cream works amazingly!!!!

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  7. Try using a nipple shield. I have flat nipples and she is unable to latch on, but with the shield she does great. The sheild is a silcone/piliable, it is longer and allows baby girl to be able to nurse, it kinda suction cups to your breast and when the baby sucks on the sheild it pulls out your nipple so that she can latch on. I tired and tired to breastfeed without this with NO luck and now she does great!

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  8. Thank you, that is the next stop for me before formula...

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  9. I am pumping to try and reduce my formula reliance. The My Brest Friend nursing pillow is amazing - finally Baby Loquacious will latch and not fight me every step
    Of the way! It has honestly saved my sanity. Now if only my milk would come faster....

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