Jan 16, 2012

I’m a Pregnant Bull in a China Shop!

I imagine the only thing worse than a bull in a china shop is me, a pregnant chick the size of a bull in a china shop! I have become such an uncoordinated, 2 left feet, 10 thumbs having mess! I’m not sure what has changed, but I am breaking things, knocking over all kinds of stuff and somehow making a bigger mess than ever before in my pregnancy. I’m starting to think it’s lack of me paying attention, but the baby ate my brain somewhere around week 10, so that can't be the answer. I've been a mindless twit almost the whole time!

This morning while trying to make breakfast, I managed to spill coffee grinds in my scrambled eggs, knock over my orange juice with the pepper mill, completely forget to flip over my pancakes until I smelled them burning, emptied the ice tray all over the counter and here is the best part, I didn’t even cry about it! I am so used to knocking things over, ruining food and making a mess that I was completely unfazed. I just tried to fix what I had screwed up, pick up what I had dropped and salvage my morning with a smile… albeit an insane woman’s smile…>; /

At 37 weeks, I am immune to having baby brain and an unstable disposition. Sometimes I just laugh when I spill or screw up now. I finally realize it’s not all my fault, in fact it’s mostly the nature of the beast, pregnancy’s fault! My feet are swollen and a size bigger than usual, so naturally I would be unsure in my step, tripping is understandable. My fingers are swollen and chubby and not bending or working in my favor, naturally I should be having trouble using them. My baby has swallowed my brain whole, so naturally it is not working since it is on hiatus. All in all, I am now nothing more than a Mobile Incubator.

Even my husband is unfazed by my ridiculousness. He just quietly tries to pick up the fallen pieces and silently prays I don't stay like this. I have to admit though this morning so much went wrong that when I didn’t cry or scream I think he was scared… he was helping me pick everything up being overly nice waiting for me to break into a massive mental meltdown… Well nope not me, I'm over it, it's going to happen and I just have to deal with it. Until I get my brain back and my appendages stop being big pudgy stiff masses, I am screwed and so is everything in my path. Thank God, my baby will be here in 18 days… I miss having control over my body, fingers, toes and emotions…

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

1 comment:

  1. I think it's just another one of those preparing you for baby, cause even with a 3 yr old I'm quiet comfortable walking around in public with stains on my top, marks all over me. A lot better than when he was 1st born and he would projectile vomit while lying down, he looked like a mini fountain, when it came back down it would cover all of him and most of me, or hubby, all you can do is strip both of u down and clean it up before getting dressed again. Hehe! I think for the 1st 6mths you have to just deal with smelling of sick, and your clothes been ruined by bodily fluids. With 5wks to go my belly is just getting in the way, it's oly good to balance my tea or coffee on it.