Nov 16, 2014

6 simple steps to help expecting dads be better partners....

My “Pregnant and hate my husband” post is by far the most popular.  While I laugh when I see the multiple versions of the keywords that brouhgt the new visitors... “I'm Pregnant and Hate my husband” “I’m pregnant and my husband is an Asshole.” “How can I stop my husband from being a jerk while I’m pregnant.” “My wife is pregnant and Hates me.” “I’m Pregnant and my husband hates me.” Truthfully it’s all really unfortunate.

While I am not a relationship expert, I am definitely well versed in pregnancy and the strains that it puts on a relationship. I decided to share my knowledge in hopes that I can save a couple from the same pain and strife that my husband and I endured thanks to the wild and wonderful blessing of pregnancy!

Here's a few tips for the expecting dads...


Step 1: COMPASSION

This is not hard… for a woman! ; ) I have come to realize most guys see the word through “man feelings.” I know sometimes it seems like women are either just bitching for bitch sake, or just not being tough enough. Well, when it comes to pregnancy put all of those preconceived notions aside or pay the price! Please just try to listen, envision yourself feeling the exact pain or emotions she is complaining about, and then hopefully you will have a better understanding of her TRUE feelings.

For example when she says…. “Ugh, honey I feel so sick! This morning sickness is hell.” DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE SAY- “I feel sick too!” Oh my goodness that will get you killed! Try saying this instead-“Oh baby, I am so sorry to hear that, can I do anything?

See the difference? It’s simple- listen, be compassionate, offer support and stay in the running for man of the year!

Step 2: Random Acts of KINDNESS!

This is so simple! Out of nowhere clean the house, do the shopping, pick up some nice earrings, a nice scarf, something your mother-to-be likes, or even better do something for her you know she hates doing. Ideally you will do something once a week, not once a month. Really, you should do this for your her pregnant or not...

Step 3: Compliment! Compliment! COMPLIMENT!

Pregnancy is hell on the body and psyche. She needs reassurance that she is still beautiful and attractive to you. Most of all be smart and sincere about it. If she looks yuck but the outfit is nice, compliment the outfit. Some days I am so tired and run down, on those days my husband tells me how proud he is of me for being such a great mom already by giving up so much. Really he's learned to say anything to lift my spirits. Trust me it goes a VERY long way!

Step 4: BE GREATFUL!

She is carrying your Child! It is not easy, does not feel wonderful and sometimes feels like a very long process! She has to give up all kinds of stuff to provide a safe and healthy environment for the baby to grow in. You on the other hand do not! You get to smoke, drink, sleep on your belly, bungee jump, ride roller coasters, (real ones, not the psycho emotional one know as pregnancy.) Basically you get to continue on with your life the same way you did the day before you found out you were going to be a father. Imagine having to Google everything you want to put into your mouth to make sure it is safe to eat. Something as simple as a kiss on the cheek and a “thank you baby for carrying my baby!” will go so far you might be able to stay off that shitlist for a week!

Step 5: Shower her with LOVE and AFFECTION!

I think this may be one of the most important steps. Just like you eat three meals a day and two snacks… give three kisses a day and two loving, I love yous! When you wake up in the morning, when you get home from work and before bed, give kisses and I love yous. Love and hugs are all a pregnant woman needs to be reminded that she is so much more than a mobile incubator… it is your job to remind her daily that she is YOUR beautiful woman first, the mother of your child second.

Step 6: PATIENCE!

Please have patience with your mother-to-be. Understand that she has been possessed by pregnancy and will return to normal after birth… it may be a month or two after birth but it will happen. Pregnancy is process for both parents. It takes a lot of work and compromise to survive it together sanely. You absolutely, positively have to have patience and understanding or it is going to be a very long 10 months.

Here is a tip from me to you: This too shall pass… Look into her eyes and find the woman you love. I promise behind those sleepy raccoon eyes, filled with scary furry, tears and a twinkle of nuttiness, she is in there. Again, remember she has to give up so much during pregnancy, the least you can do is try to always be understanding of that. All the very best to you and your new family!


I promise if you follow this simple 6-step plan, your home life will be dramatically better.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

1 comment:

  1. My Hubbs must have gotten the memo, because he totally does these things already. Save for the occasional emo breakdown from me that has left him baffled and silenced, we've pretty much had a good run during this pregnancy. Lots of date nights, sweet compliments, hugs and cuddles, an abundance of patience and gratitude (though let's face it, we're both having a baby and it's not like the child isn't mine too!), and so much adoration. Your post makes me ever more grateful for my man! :) Thanks!

    ReplyDelete