Jan 24, 2012

38 weeks…I’m so ready for this baby… finally!

  1. Nursery completed… Check!
  2. 2,000 wipes and 400 hundred diapers… Check!
  3. More clothes than a set of twins could wear in 0-3 months, then in 3-6 months, washed, folded and refolded 10 times… Check!
  4. Incredibly uncomfortable in my own skin…. Check!
  5. Human garbage disposal… Check
  6. Not one article of clothing fits… from socks to knickers to extra large maternity, belly hangs out of everything… Check!
  7. Feet so fat, flat and swollen I can swim the English Channel in 10 kicks… check!
  8. Stretch marks… Check!
  9. Have not slept in a week… Check
  10. Baby constantly kicking at the back and front door… Check!
  11. Require an adult diaper when watching anything remotely funny on TV…Check!
  12. Raging case of heart burn, indegestion and shortness of breath… Check
  13. Waddle like a duck with one had on my back, the other on my belly… Check!
  14. Have a full and complete ass imprint on my cushion of the couch… Check!
  15. Hate skinny bitches and well dressed and put together chicks… Check!
  16. Already lying to myself about how I will have a banging body within 2 months of delivery… Check!
  17. Back hurts like hell… Check!
  18. Positive every time my pelvis constricts or I feel the slightest bit of pressure that I am going into labor… Check!
  19. Every time I make eye contact with a woman on the street she says, “oh my/wow when are you due?!” …Check!
  20. Making deals with the devil for a safe AND early delivery… CHECK! CHECK! and CHECK!

See! I am finally more than ready to have this baby. I was scared to death before, but now I am just ready to have him out! Between myself, husband, mother, sister, and amazing girlfriends, who are twice as amazing as mothers, I am confident I can do this. I may need the support group for the next 18 years… half living–in with us for the first decade.… Nonetheless, I got this!

Looking back, I think I am textbook why God/Nature has made the human gestation period 40 weeks/ 10 months. I needed every bit of it to get my mind and life in the right place for this next phase. I still technically have a week and a half left and can only hope each day will bring me even closer to peace with all of my fears of motherhood. All of you out there reading this still in the first or second trimester, or hell in your 33rd week… take heart, you too will find this peace! Everyone told me I would and not to worry. I was too stubborn to listen, but now can honestly and happily say they were right, I was wrong. Bring on this baby, Momma is ready to do the damn thing!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com


  1. Whoa...400 diapers? I guess I underbought...LOL. I wasn't sure how ginormous my kid would be at birth so I have a small pack of newbie diapers and one box (108) of size 1's. But at 39+5 I'm ripe and ready too!

  2. Replies
    1. That is huge! you will love that! hope they are in different sizes!!