Dec 14, 2011

The Babymoon


The term “Babymoon” was coined in 1996 by childbirth educator and author Sheila Kitzinger in her book, "The Year After Childbirth.”

"The transition to fatherhood is easier when a man can take time off to be with his partner and baby in what I call a 'Babymoon'."

This original definition meant that the trip or time off was spent together as a family. Since 1996 however, a “Babymoon” has evolved to mean a trip the expecting couple takes before the baby arrives. This change in the definition has been attributed to the travel industry... the following has been taken from Wikipedia

In 2004, Lisa Lewis attempted to redefine the term in the Athens Banner-Herald:

"I have learned a brand new word — 'babymoon' ...This is just like taking a honeymoon except you’re pregnant... the purpose is to have one last 'hurrah' as a couple... before baby arrives."
And in 2007 a New York Times article further enhanced the etymology of babymoon by covering the experiences of a number of couples and their luxurious excursions before the birth of new babies.
In a July 2007 Reuters article it's also suggested to have a babymoon to "indulge while you can" before the baby is born.
In May 2008 Boston Globe also mentions the babymoon as a pre-birth getaway
* The full article can be read at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Babymoon

Needless to say 6 months ago I heard of the current definition of Babymoon. I thought it was a lovely idea at the time and immediately began to dream up fantasies about it, where we would go, what we would do.... A nice weekend away to New York City, or Chicago, maybe even a lazy trip to the Outer Banks to lie in the sand. Of course since it was my fantasy I could afford to do these things too. Still, I could never really wrap my head around a romantic getaway when the last thing I have felt during my pregnancy is sexy, romantic and energetic enough to take such a trip. I'm thinking that's why the Childbirth Educators' definition makes more sense than the travel industry's


Of course there is also the justification of, in my opinion, the frivolous expense of a Babymoon before baby arrives. Once we found out we were expecting we started living on a “family” budget. Prior to baby, we had been living on a lets eat, drink, and be marry budget and if possible try to have enough to pay the bills in the end. The good ole days… they would have totally encompassed a weekend getaway to piss away money.


Still, I think it is very important to maintain that Husband/Wife connection, and not totally get lost in the new roles of Mommy/Daddy, especially before the baby gets here. I just also know in our case being expecting parents has been at times all consuming. Sometimes we are consumed with joy and a radiant glow, other times we are consumed with my pregnancy induced multiple personality disorder. God knows all my husband needs is to be locked in a hotel room with my crazy ass for a weekend!

As much as I rant about my husband he is still very rave worthy. We try to have at least one date night a week, even if that is a take-away dinner and night of cuddling on the couch. We also promise each other to at the very least maintain that one night a week once baby gets here. My sister has been married for 16 years and insists the secret is taking time out for each other and intimacy.

Trust me, if someone came to us tomorrow and said here is an all expense paid weekend getaway for you and your husband I would take it and run. Deep down I would love it more than anything, and at 8 months pregnant I would love a spa retreat even more. Still, we do seem to have so much to do, I’m afraid we would spend this time away talking about home and what needed to be accomplished. If you are considering a babymoon do it sooner than later.

Bottom Line: I would like to change the definition of "Babymoon" once more. It should be a holiday the new parents take ALONE to recoup and fall back in love with their Couple Dynamic. I am positive after 6 months of being new parents a short trip will be much deserved and appreciated. Just beware of the night cap coupled with the backrub... it always seems to start there... then the next thing you know you are finding yourself reading this blog all over again... ;)

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

3 comments:

  1. Love this post. I like your definition best, but I know I would prefer my hubs take off work for the first 2-4 weeks after baby than take me on a pre-baby vacation that my uncomfortable body and hormonal brain could not enjoy.

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  2. I was actually looking at hotel costs for a late trip to the beach yesterday. Some really good deals if you know when and where to go but as soon as I approached my husband about it, I got rejected. He too is in baby budget mode. Our anniversary just passed this past Monday and all I have thought about was our honeymoon a couple of years ago. It was beautiful, simple, nice, we did what we want and basically took the batteries out of our phones, got lost on a beautiful island off the coast of North Carolina for a week and spent every night on the beach or our balcony staring out over the water. *sigh* A babymoon would have been perfect for us and maybe I can convince him before the water gets too cold. Since we have been together for a total of seven years and only been on two vacations, maybe I can convince him of just one more before the baby. Pray for me and my success!!

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    1. I'm praying sister! Life becomes anything but 'simple' when bub comes. I wish we would have done it. Now we are all baby, nothing is simple and well, our relationship is in the toliet too. We still need a babymoon...

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