Dec 7, 2011

31 weeks and So Uncomfortable!

Sweet Mother of Pregnancy, I am so freaking uncomfortable! I am 31 weeks and can barely breathe, have no excess room in my belly for food or water, my hips and lower back are feeling the push and my little boy is constantly trying to punch and kick his way out of me. How in the hell can I have 9 weeks left? No worries... even I know I sound like a horribly scratched broken record... but this is pregnancy right?

So the stretching and pulling of 13-weeks was scary because I didn’t really know what was going on. The stretching and pulling of week 22 was uncomfortable and left me gasping for air, but I knew what was up so it was less scary. Plus, both of those growth spurts only took 2 days for the discomfort to dissipate and leave my belly noticeably bigger. I am officially on day number four of a stretching and pulling that makes the last two growth spurts seem like nothing big. This round is incredibly uncomfortable and scary! What if he figures a way out and I have a baby on my hands one day earlier than planned?!

My ribs feel like my boy has wrapped his hands around one side and wrapped monkey like feet around the other side, and is pushing out in both directions with all of his might! There is no need for a bra anymore either, my organs have been jammed so far up that they are giving my massive milk factories lift like no bra ever could. My pelvis and hips feel like they are spreading open to create a landing strip for 757 preparing for an emergency landing. Also on a side note-- My girlfriend who is pregnant with a little girl, one week behind me, has been complaining that, “her vagina is killing her.” From research and talking with family and friends she has learned that it's perfectly normal. I suppose as I sit and bitch, it really could be worse…

I think I have been saying, “how the hell am I going to make it since week 9…” Seriously, just when I think I cannot be any more uncomfortable, I am proven wrong. All of you in the second trimester, lap it up! I miss it so bad. I actually will go so far as to say, I loved being pregnant then…

Now at 31 weeks, I am feeling like a stuffed pot belly pig that is somehow hungry and still trying to waddle my way to the feeding troughs! I am trying to make light of it all so I don’t cry! In addition to my stuffed pig issues, I am also so filled with crazy lady anxiety… We are working on the nursery, but I still feel like no matter how much I do, I will not be ready for baby.

I keep telling myself to shut up and put up! I know for a fact, if I sit on the couch legs spread wide open to let my belly flop through, in a muumuu, focusing on how incredibly uncomfortable I am, I will cry and feel sorry for myself. On the flip side, if let out a super mommy lioness roar, get up off my pregnant ass and do just one thing off my to-do list, I will feel wonderful and empowered.

Only a few weeks to go… I suppose it’s up to me how much time I spend on my ass crying and how much time I spend empowering my soon-to-be mommy self…

FYI--I cannot tell a lie… I plan to strive for 70/30. 70% shut up and put up! 30% crying, complaining and feeling sorry for myself. ;) It’s all about setting realistic goals right?!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit


  1. During pregnancy time these symptoms are very normal... take care.

  2. Pregnancy can be sooo tough! but when you hold your baby for the first time everything else just melts away and nothing matters anymore:)

  3. I'm 31 weeks today and can so relate to this, I don't know wether to laugh or cry!

  4. Omg I can so relate!!! Can't wait to hold my baby grl!!!

  5. Omg I can so relate!!! Can't wait to hold my baby grl!!!