Nov 26, 2011

WARNING! Beware of Holiday shopping while Pregnant.

Foolishly I went shopping on "Black Friday"… Don’t worry, nobody died, though some would have if looks could kill. In my defense, I would have never ever ventured out of my pajamas if my Mother in-law was not in town, and desperate for some body lotion from Clinque. I swear sometimes I need to remind myself that there is no special award for kissing your mother in-law’s ass! But, I forgot so off we went to Macy’s on the busiest shopping day of the year. Stuuuuupid!

Of course I made my husband come along for moral support. I wasn’t even ten feet in the store before I felt the hot flash of annoyance poor over me. At that moment I realized I was standing in a store filled full of frantic psycho paths fighting over the last pair of boots, my mother in-law and less than a square foot of personal space at any given spot in the store… Again, patience is not a virtue I have, so I just put my hand over my belly and started begging my brain for happy thoughts.

For this exact reason, I wrote a while ago about how important it was to get the Holiday shopping out of the way ASAP, especially if you were 20+ weeks. Well, I did not heed my own warning so I hope you did. I am officially stuck with Internet shopping. I cannot go back there. I just cannot step foot into another store until mid January and since I am due the first week of February, things are not looking good for, Team Me.

I seriously realized today that I have got to be very smart about my shopping, and plan way ahead for any avoidable trip to the shopping areas. It’s not like after Black Friday all the people retreat and the stores return to normal. No, the stores remain freak factories filled with members. I know, I used to be a contributing member! In the past I would look forward to a day or two of Christmas shopping, $5 coffee in hand, ready to break the bank and stand in a queue for an hour, just to get my husband the perfect ugly sweater…. WELL NOT THIS YEAR!!!

I couldn’t even focus today on shopping, there were too many people, and nothing was put back in its place! I would see a sweater dress I loved and realize it was just placed on the rack and in a size small no less! My chances of finding the rack it came from was nearly non existent, especially when I could barely see any rack clearly since there were a minimum 4 women pouring over each one. I stood back for a moment and just saw anthills, little piles of women huddled around each rack making it impossible to see the clothes in front of them. Holy crap! Reliving this for you is making me think I may just need to call a shrink to get over my trauma!

I wish each and every one of you the best of luck this holiday season covering your holiday list, if you have not already. I highly recommend Cyber shopping or at the very least, taking a day off from work on Wednesday and getting started early, wearing your most comfortable outfit and pair of shoes. If you do not, you may end up in the waiting room of a shrink sitting next to me.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit