Oct 24, 2011

Pregnant Halloween Costumes… Or lack there of.

WTF is up with the lack of Pregnant Halloween Costumes? Who in the hell informed the Costume makers that pregnant women do not want costumes? My husband and I have been to a few different Halloween outlets in my city and have found 7 costumes for preggies, 3 actual Pregnant costumes and 4 were for plus size ladies, all of which were a joke!

I am also wondering what ass thought it would be a wonderful joke to play on pregnant women by giving them the choice of sexy fairy or sexy nurse as a costume? Let me just tell you I stopped wearing clothes that showed anything above my calves by month 4. Sexy fairy, really? OMG, WTF, someone needs their ass kicked!

The rest of the costumes I found were stupid to say the least. What also kills me, is that for the pleasure of an extra yard of EXTREMELY flammable material added to the crap costumes, I can pay up to $20 extra bucks! Again, OMG, WTF someone needs their ass kicked!

So, after losing my mind and control of my mouth in the Halloween “Super Store,” my husband escorted me to the car (before security did) where I proceeded to melt down. We have a big party to go to and I have NOT A DAMN THING TO WEAR! My Husband and I decided the best option, and really our only option, was to make our own damn costume, at a 1/3 of the cost. Below is a list we came up with together of our favorites we found online and made up as well. I hope this list gives you hope, because if you are anything like me, you bloody well need it this Halloween!



Solo Costumes
1. Black Cat that swallowed a fish bowl- First find an all black outfit. Second, if it’s not freezing where you live cut out the belly of the shirt and paint the fish bowl right on your beautiful belly, if it is freezing paint over the shirt or get felt in Blue and orange and then maybe find some items that would go in a fish bowl and glue them all together to make a fish bowl, and then sew the felt bowl on to the shirt.
2. Pregnant Nun- You can actually get this costume in a large, or Plus Size version at most stores that sell adult Halloween Costumes.
3. Classic Bun in The Oven- Wear a silver or black outfit and either paint or glue felt stove/oven buttons on, cut out the belly and paint a cinnamon bun on your belly or again make one to glue to the outside, if too cold.
4. 8-Ball-This one is easy and fast, just get the all black outfit and paint your belly, or an 8-Ball on to the shirt or go get the good ol’ felt in Black and White and make your own.
5. A Cow- This one is easy to do if you have the time to make a bunch of black and White cutouts and then make the Udder, I like felt, it’s cheap and easy to work with. Hubs and I thought about getting a bunch of bottle nipples and painting them pink and gluing them to the udder.

Couples Costumes-
1. Pumpkin Patch & Farmer- YOU, Wear all green, Paint or glue paper or felt vines and leaves to your body and cut out a belly hole and paint a pumpkin- or again if it’s too cold just find a Jack-O’-Lantern Shirt and wear it. PARTNER- Dress like a farmer, overall’s straw hat, cowboy boots, you get it…
2. Pregnant Nun And Priest- Again, you can get these costumes at any Halloween Store. My hell bound Husband came up with the idea to find a hallowed out prayer book that will hold a Flask.
3. Bun in The Oven & Chef- YOU- Wear a silver or black outfit and either paint or glue felt stove/oven buttons on, cut out the belly and paint a cinnamon bun on your belly, Partner dresses as a Chef

4. Pregnant prostitute and pimp- Need I say more on how to prepare for this one?


5. Role Reversal- You are your Partner with a Massive Beer Belly. Your Partner has a Pregnant Belly- Switch clothes and find one hell of a mullet wig!
6. Shot gun wedding- This could be an expensive one but funny too! I’m thinking a thrift store for the Gown and Tux/Suit and then a six-pack, fake Cigarettes, and any other trashy accessories you can find!

There are plenty of places online you can look for ideas too. I know it’s a little late to be posting this but at 6 months now, I am slow to get most things accomplished. If nothing else I hope I can save you the disappointing trip to the store and inspire you to make the best damn Halloween Costume at the party! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

5 comments:

  1. I've got a few more ideas for you!! As I too am disappointed with the lack of preggo costumes out there... My husband and I are going as a pair of Care Bears! Our costumes will be brightly colored hooded sweatsuits and we'll use colored felt to make the tummy part and the ears. Not only is it cheap, but I have comfy outfit to wear the rest of my pregnancy!! Here are some other ideas we/I considered:
    1. Juno and Juno's boyfriend Paulie Bleeker
    2. Pregnant Prom Queen/bridesmaid (reuse one of my old fancy dresses or get a cheap one from goodwill
    3. Toga girl
    4. Costume Collage.... (wear one piece of each of my costumes from past Halloweens)
    5. Angry Bird (Find a giant red sweatshirt and matching shorts, a little felt to make the face....and wah-la!)
    6. A Peep (same concept as Angry Bird)
    7. Pregnant Quinn from Glee and Phin (or Puck)
    8. Mother Earth.... This costume is totaly open to interpretation
    9. Buddah....
    10. A "Mummy"..... get it.... :)

    Hope these inspired you! Can't wait to hear what you pick.

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  2. I made this costume and wore it to a Halloween party last weekend. It was a big hit! http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2010/10/our-last-minute-adult-costumes.html

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  3. YAY! Thank you so much ladies!! I feel even better now! Anonymous you have inspired me, and made my decision even harder. I love the idea of the Care Bears and then having a super warm and comfy outfit for the rest of my pregnancy, I love a "two-for." I am thinking about sending a link to this post to the Halloween costume manufacturers and see if next year they will do a better job of dressing our demographic. Jessica, you are super talented, I LOVE LOVE LOVE your costume.

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  4. Wahoo!! Glad I inspired you :) Our sweatsuits came in the mail yesterday and I put my on just wear around the house... Tonight I get crafting attaching the care bear emblem and ears! This was my inspiration
    http://www.coolest-homemade-costumes.com/coolest-homemade-care-bear-couple-costume-5.html

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  5. Lol! The Care Bears are great! The husband in the photo is a crack up!

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