Oct 5, 2011

I’ve got… Nothing!

Sorry, I have nothing for you because I have nothing for me! I am mindless. I still have my allergy/cold issue going in full effect. I guess lack of the ability to breathe equals lack of the ability to think. I seriously cannot even organize my thoughts because I am not sure what they are, if that makes any sense? Today, I am only capable of writing about nothing. Really I am almost excited to see where it goes! I highly recommend you stop reading now, unless you are mindless too, then you will probably follow right along with my nothing-ness!

Today I did a bunch of production work for my job and when I went to post it I had no idea what accounts I had worked on… MINUTES EARLIER! Then, I trained a new employee and am quite sure I just stared at him blankly for an hour, or at least that’s all I remember doing. I cannot tell you anything I did or ate yesterday without some serious thought. Oh geez I am starting to think I AM NOTHINGNESS! Oh, Hay-Seuss is this a side effect of pregnancy, hallucinating about even being a real person. (Don’t blame me I told you this was going to go nowhere and to stop reading!)

Huh, I am now on the verge of losing my sanity along with my mind! I used to joke about how my shame was in the wind with my caution, my morals were in the gutter with my mind and now my sanity is in my baby’s belly with my brain! It’s almost laughable how foolish and confused I have become since being pregnant and now that I am sick and stuffed up I really am a ding-dong!

Maybe if we are lucky a psychologist will google “STUPID PREGANT GIRL” and find my blog, over analyze it, then post a comment/explanation or at the very least directions to their psych ward… anything would be greatly appreciated!

You know, I hear all of the time that “Baby Brain” doesn’t go away after childbirth, but in fact gets worse. Maybe we as preggies, have to go through big dumb turd-ness so when we give birth and the baby keeps our brains we already know how to cope and play off dumb. I am actually becoming a pro, I don’t apologize, I just lay it out there, like the title of this blog, “nothing” and keep on keeping on.

“Hi, I’m Pregnant and Dumb nice to meet you. I’ll be over there licking the wall paper if you need me.” I am even cool with that reality now, fighting it didn’t get me anywhere, accepting it gets me less frustrated and people now just give the sad eyes, warm smile and heaps of patience! Hell, I have 3.5 months left of this getting away with stupidity, now that I have accepted it I feel like my options are limitless! No more doing anything I don’t feel like doing, “oops sorry I forgot, damn Baby Brain...”

And I thought I had nothing? I have so much of nothing I made a whole blog! I promise tomorrow I will have something, of what I am not sure. But, today I thought I had nothing and look at me now! Tomorrow will certainly be a wonderful surprise, I promise… at least it will be to me. ; ) If nothing else I can talk about my new friend and sidekick Delirium!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

4 comments:

  1. YAY! It's Not Only Me! My Husband calls it my "LA LA Land"

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  2. Someone informed you wrong- baby brain will go away, and your brain will function normally again. The difference will be that the topic of conversation at least once a day will be about poop. "Did the baby poop today?" "How many dirty diapers did the baby have today?" "What did the baby's poop look like today?" And, quite literally, every other thought you have will concern your baby "what is the baby doing?" "did the baby take his bottle already?" "how many ounces did the baby take at the last feeding?" "is the baby napping?" "will the baby sleep tonight?" So your brain will function at full capacity and you will regain the sharpness and clarity that you have (mostly) been used to, just your thoughts will never be the same. Your child will be 3 months old, and you will lie awake worrying about him driving. God help you girl. Lol- God help us all!!

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  3. LOL! I have never been so happy then scared by a reader comment in my life! Thanks Anonymous! ; p

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  4. OK WELL I AM DEFF NOT A PREGGIE, BUT I DONT THINK I EVER REGAINED MY "PRE"BABY BRAIN. I THINK ITS ALOT OF LACK OF SLEEP... BEING AN OVER CAUTIOUS MOMMA, I LOOSE SLEEP TO IT. I WALK AROUND DAILY AND GET DISTRACTED QUICKLY! FORGET WHAT I AM DOING IN THE MIDDLE OF OF DOING IT. AND TOTALLY FORGET TO DO SOMETHING IF THERE ISNT A STICKY NOTE ON THE SCREEN TO TELL ME TO DO IT!!! THEN I HAVE TO CHECK TO MAKE SURE ITS DONE BEFORE I THROW THE NOTE AWAY... MAYBE IM JUST A SILLY BLONDE; BUT EVEN 5 YEARS AFTER DELIVERY OF MY 2ND, THERE ARE TIMES WHEN I SWEAR IF I DIDNT KNOW BETTER I WOULD THINK I WAS CARRYING MY THIRD!!!

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