Sep 20, 2011

Pregnancy Edginess or Justified Edginess?

I am so sick and tired of being such an emotional train wreck. I am sick and tired of wondering if I am going overboard or if I am justified in my feelings. I am sick and tired of being so easily agitated, laughing hysterically over ridiculous things or waking up with anxiety and spending the next hour crying myself back to sleep. For example, I laugh uncontrollably at something stupid, my husband thinks I’m crazy, shares that feeling with me, then I want to rip his face off, instead I yell at him, then wake up crying about it. Lately, hoping to gain some control, I have been trying to figure out when I am justified and when it is just pregnancy-induced nuttiness.

Pregnancy in itself is an emotional roller coaster from hell, I have learned compounding it with an unstable environment is excruciating. Recently my job has become nearly unbearable, my entire team has quit to join a competitor and since I am pregnant I have not been offered a position, leaving me to pick up the dropped balls and keep things going. My husband and I are also trying to buy a new house before the baby and his family arrive for holidays in two months. I am constantly over analyzing my emotions and behavior, trying to keep a level head through it all. I am just so damn emotional ALL OF THE TIME.

I have a joke with my co-worker now, if I really truly want to rip the person’s face off or cause bodily harm it’s probably pregnancy hormones driving my rage filled bus. I   know this is true because before baby I did not want to cause people bodily harm, cry or laugh uncontrollably on a regular basis or think every driver on the road is there to piss me off. I try to gauge the situation and think, am I being crazy? I have to admit though that trying to decide if I am being crazy when I am being crazy is not working out so well. I pray every night that my pregnancy induced "Drama Queen" symptoms will go away just like my "Morning Sickness" symptoms did.

Pregnancy is hard enough without adding life’s dramas on top! I worry about whether or not I am hurting my baby with all this craziness. I have read articles about depression and the effects on the baby. While an emotionally charged pregnancy is filled with “possibly” harmful side effects, I am just not convinced that I am any different than the next pregnant woman. I am also so incredibly sick of reading about what I may or may not be doing to hurt the baby, it all can be so contradicting! Luckily, I have a HUGE support group of mothers who tell me nuttiness, edginess, screaming and crying are "perfectly" normal.  It is Clear, pregnancy is an emotional roller coaster, the secret it to just hold on and try not to scream the entire time!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

1 comment:

  1. For me, if I am able to put myself in timeout during my "crazy" moments, they don't last as long and aren't as severe. I seclude myself for however long it takes (usually anywhere between 5 and 30 minutes) and do something I want to do until I calm down. It's the best I can do at times.

    Being so close to the end (thank God!), I can say that I feel my hormones changing again... and I can see how close I am to feeling like my normal self once more. It will come. Continue to take one day at a time and try not to stress out. You will return to normal. And you will have a BEAUTIFUL baby that will make you forget about all of this craziness. Like every other mother in the world, you will say "It was worth it".

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