Sep 21, 2011

Boy or Girl?

I am so nervous and excited for my gender scan tomorrow.  I'm just going to come right out and say it...I don’t want a girl! I think they are loud, annoying, screaming, needy, little brats.  I know, “it will be different when it is yours” but what ever, I don’t believe you.  I don’t want to buy complete outfits with matching shoes and accessories. I don’t want to play with Barbies or have, oh God forbid, 10 screaming girls over for a sleepover at my house.  I don’t like Justin Bieber, Boy Bands or any of the Twilight saga movies, I do not know the first name of any of the actors.  I will suck as the mother of a girl.  I am not interested in any of the things a girl will be interested in.

My husband on the other hand not only wants a girl, he has been telling everyone it’s a girl since conception.  He only refers to the baby as his “daughter” or “Vienna.”  I asked him what if it was a boy and he just laughed, shook his head and said, "oh you silly girl."  There is no talking to him about it, he just insist he knows because "Jesus told him," you have to know my silly Aussie husband to really understand. He has been buying girl stuff for months, our guest bedroom closet is packed full of pink. He is sick, that’s all I have to say.

Seriously, have you seen a teenage girl lately? The girls of today are under so much pressure to look like a 5-pound super model, in Barbie's clothing, wearing spray can make-up, all BY AGE 8!!!  OH HELL NO, not my daughter… and I have no doubt with an attitude like that I will have a daughter that hates me by age 9. There is not a person in the world who would not agree with me that it is MUCH easier to worry about one penis instead of all the rest.

My nephews are awesome, I know what they like and feel comfortable with them, girls are scary.  Plus, I love tailgating and football games, kick ball on Sunday afternoon. I love dirt biking, ATV’s and Hot Wheels. I have 3 beautiful nephews and I love playing with them and watching their cartoons. I show up, happily, to their karate classes, soccer games, baseball games, and totally love building the ultimate glow-in-the-dark Hot Wheel Track.

I need an easy boy for my first child, I need an inexpensive un-needy, quiet little angel boy.  I just cannot understand why my husband wants a girl so bad. He just doesn’t understand the amount of bad karma I have coming to me from what I did to my mom.  I can only pray that since I didn’t dress like a pole-rider nor did I sleep around, I will at least have the same God Fearing, Catholic guilt ridden, ice queen of a daughter my mom did.  I was still a naughty, back talking, know-it-all, needy, emotional brat so when that Karma comes barreling back at me I won’t be surprised. It’s supposed to be 10 fold right?  SHIT! 

Tomorrow is most definitely a big day. Either way I know I will be happy and already am very blessed. If it is a girl I guess I will learn to love being one too and start planning my tuck and roll technique for when the Karma comes barreling back at me.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

5 comments:

  1. Too funny. More than likely a girl will like the same things you like even if only for seeking approval. I think either way you and your hubs are in for a child similar in nature to the two of you. A plus side to a girl is you get a couple of extra years (9-11) before they really start to give you hormone-laden grief.

    And don't withhold the Hot Wheels and Karate just because it may be a girl. Chances are she'll be into it from playing with her all boy cousin network.

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  2. I LOVED THIS SOOO MUCH I PRINTED IT

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  3. I'm the same I have a boy and always thought I wanted a boy 1st then a girl, but since being a mum and being around loads of a little girls I don't want one. Like you I know my own I'd feel different but if god gave me a daughter she would be like me and she would break my heart before she started school. But as my 3year old has proved over the last month boys aren't all that either they can be little terrors.

    I'm a few weeks until hubby decides if he wants to know. So here fingers crossed for us all! X

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  4. It doesn't matter which one you have, you will love that baby with all your heart. I always thought I wanted a boy and just knew I was going to have one 3 years ago. Nope. My daughter is my pride and joy. I'm pregnant with our 2 nd and final child, and I can honestly say that as great as it would be to have a boy this time, I would be absolutely thrilled to have another girl! You might be disappointed when they tell you the gender, I was. But it only took me about an hour to start thinking of the baby as "my little girl" and then I was all in!

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  5. You were so right! I am still so happy to be having a boy, but after finding out I started to look at little girls and think, I want one of those too! Fingers crossed for next time... Sometimes being wrong is not so bad...

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