Aug 24, 2011

Sasquatch was not a big beastly ape-like man, SHE was a tall pregnant woman!

Seriously!  Hear me out... Every morning I wake up with more hair in strange places than the day before.  If I’m only 15 weeks and growing a nice coat of hair all over my body and have 25 more to go….  Big Foot/Sasquatch could have very well been a big tall hairy pregnant woman.  And I think we all can agree that the hormonal outburst and irrational behavior of a pregnant woman rivals that of Sasquatch. I don’t blame “Sasquatch” for trying to avoid the camera. What pregnant woman enjoys going out full-term feeling big, hairy and hormonal?

I have started to grow hair in places I never did before.  In places I already grew hair, it’s now thicker, darker and frighteningly long!  My chest is right on course for being harrier than my husbands!  I now have a “Treasure Trail” from my belly button heading south.  In fact I think “trail” is putting it lightly, highway is more like it.  My big toe looks just like my husband’s fury foot… Hence Big (fury) Foot!

The other issue I have with all of this hair growing ALL OVER my body is the fact that it is dark, thick and LONG!  That’s the scariest part, the length of the hairs on my chest and treasure highway do not seem to be loosing momentum.  I’m afraid by 40 weeks I will be able to have dreadlocks swinging from my body.  I may not even need to wear socks this winter either…  Kind of funny and kind of scary and I know you know what I’m talking about! I'm thinking it may be cheaper to get a full body waxing once a week, instead of buying enough razors to cut through my fur coat.

It really seems like every week I get to find out about a new pregnancy symptom.  Week 15 brought uncontrollable tears, wicked headaches and long thick dark fur. P.s. I'm a blonde, is this pregnancy turning me into a brunette?  My Friends... in two days I will be at week 16, I better feel this baby kick and roll around instead of “gas” at the very least!

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit

1 comment:

  1. "I better feel this baby kick and roll around instead of 'gas' ..."

    Before you know it, you'll be feeling that babe kick and punch and roll around... and will be saying "Damn it, if you kick my cervix one more time......"