The last few days I have been waking up between 4-6am and cannot get back to sleep. It is so frustrating and the longer I lay there the more frazzled I get. It's 4am, I am wide awake, I have nothing to do and no idea why I cannot get to sleep... ! That brings me to my next issue, getting comfortable. I know that body pillows have been invented for pregnant women, I have one and it is not doing the job. If an inventor or wife of one is reading please feel free to steal my idea. I want a mattress topper that has a hole or indention for my fat butt and sore boobs and a place to put my arm so I don't sleep on it until it falls asleep and I wake up with a sore numb limb! The body pillow is so hard to keep in place and roll around with. I need something that won't move when I do! I am a natural belly sleeper and sometimes my right side is ok but left is just not working for me yet. I am so "sleepy" and can't sleep, SO FREAKING ANNOYING!!
It should come as no surprise that my sleep deprivation coupled with my already spiked hormonal levels have made me a raging bitch! My poor husband, family and friends... It's true you hurt the ones You love the most. I am so edgy right now, I have no patience or understanding. I feel bad but I am just so quick to jump up and down and scream. I really feel bad and I hope it gets better... I just need a good nights sleep. I insists that since week 5 of pregnancy a good nights sleep has been non-existent, creating the angry demon inside.
I'm not sure if it's the lack of sleep or the remorse for being an angry preggie, but I cry or want to cry at least once a day! I want to cry right now thinking about it. Secretly I want my doctor to put me on an early bed rest. If I am stuck in bed I will have less of a chance to attack innocent bystanders. Possibly make it through this pregnancy still married with my family and friends talking to me.
I really do feel bad but I promise I cannot help it. I want to be a well rested nice calm person but it is clearly not a possibility right now. I keep telling my husband to do the research, pregnant women can emotional train wrecks. It's not just me! He is a man so compassion and understanding is not his strongest suit... I have heard somewhere in the middle of the second trimester life almost returns to normal. All I have to say is it better because I am a hot mess right now and being so uncomfortable in my own skin Sucks!