Aug 27, 2011

Observations at 16 weeks pregnant.

  1. The Baby stole my brain!
  2. I can cry over anything, anytime, anywhere.
  3. I daydream about ripping people’s faces off.
  4. Road Rage is not even scraping the surface of my annoyance with the idiot drivers in my city.  Are Cracker Jack boxes and McDonald's Happy Meals giving out free Driver’s Licenses?
  5. My Husband is still number one on my shit list.  My cat is number two.  They both won’t stop talking to me and are way too needy.
  6. I do not take crap from anyone anymore.  Please God don’t let me get pulled over by the police…
  7. I used to refuse to use a public restroom.  Now I will pee ANYWHERE! I have a travel Size roll of Charmin in my handbag for ill equipped places. 
  8. My gas, while not as frequent, is still just as lethal.
  9. The further along I get in pregnancy the more I hate working and wish I didn’t have too.
  10. I HATE and I mean EFFING HATE maternity clothes.  They are stupid!  Yes I did just say that.
  11. My butt and breast are growing at the same rate as my belly… VERY SCARY!
  12. I have not worn anything other than flip flops on my feet for the last two months.  I’m scared my Flintstone feet will get stuck in anything else.
  13. I am so exhusted all of the time...  from the minute I wake up until the second I fall asleep.  
  14. I have headaches and back pain that seem to constantly fight each other for my attention. 
  1. I am still terrified to eat fried foods and curry.  It only takes one lesson in Heart Burn and Indigestion for me to get the point.
  2. I still cannot stand the sight of meat or the smell of it cooking.
  3. I have gone into a movie theater three times so far for popcorn coated in fake butter and doused in an insane amount of strange orange salt.  OMG it’s gooood!
  4. Tylenol PM and milk make up the new Friday night Happy Hour. WHOO HOO! Two of those and milk make the best damn pregnancy Night Cap!  I actually get a full 6 hours of sleep!
  5. I am still tired of being pregnant.  This is NO fun at all!  I need some relief and exciting symptoms, because so far they suck a big fat turd!
  6. HOLY SHIT I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER!!!!       

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

6 comments:

  1. Hehehehe... two big thumbs up!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. ITS ME OF COURSEAugust 27, 2011

    #12 MIGHT BE A PROBLEM IN 2 MORE MONTHS!!! THE EXCITING SYMPTOMS WILL NOT BE HERE UNTIL THE BABY IS BORN THEN YOU WILL HAVE
    1)ENGORGED BREASTS THAT LEAK AT THE sound OF any CRYING BABY
    2)THEY WILL HURT
    3)A SURE TO BE SPOILED ROTTEN MINI YOU THAT WANTS NO ONES ATTENTION BUT YOURS
    4) 1,000,000,000 DIRTY DIAPERS IN THE FIRST YEAR!!!
    IM SURE I COULD HELP OUT MORE, BUT DONT WANNA SCARE YOU TOO MUCH WITH 24 WEEKS TO GO!
    GOOD LUCK LOVE; LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE; YOU MAY NOT HAVE TO BUY MANY WINTER OUTFITS, WITH THE HOT FLASHES WINTER WILL BE WELCOME IN YOUR WORLD!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Girlfriend, you ain't seen nothing yet, I'm 32 weeks preggers...I'll show you tired of being pregnant with a full time job and a toddler at home !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Trust me Anonymous, I am terrified! First of all I know at just 16 weeks I have along way to go. I hate that I am so tired of being pregnant already. I have just had a very difficult time so far and for that I don't hold myself responsible nor can I apologize for it. As for you being pregnant, having a toddler AND a full time job... I think you are a super hero mom. I think you are WAY stonger than I am. I pray that if I find myself in your shoes in a couple of years I can hold it together... My hat is off to you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm anonymous from the comment above...Just have faith in yourself, you are going to be SHOCKED at how much you and your body can pull through with maternity. Like you I wake up every morning thinking how the hell am I gonna do this ? and by the end of the day, the work is done, the kid is fed and I almost forgot that I did it all while heavy and sick of being pregnant....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nice observations.. happy healthy pregnancy..

    ReplyDelete