Jul 26, 2011

Pregnancy Symptoms- Bloating, Peeing, Stupidity, Gas, Fatigue & Sickness


I remember back in the first couple of weeks of my pregnancy I came home from work and was so tired! I was sure I had caught a bug or something. My eyes hurt so bad from the fatigue all I could do was go to sleep--in my work clothes. The next day I had to drag myself out of bed for another round of work then sleep.  That night I thought, ok I'm a week late, my breast really hurt and I am so tired, surely I am going to start my period anytime now!

Not even close! I finally took my pregnancy test a couple of days later.  It was a Sunday night and I swear that Clear Blue Easy test changed to pregnant before I stopped peeing on it. I yelled out "Oh My God!!  BAAAAABBBBYYYY!!!!!" My husband came running. I showed him the test, still sitting on the toilet... I immediately see his best deer in headlights look.  All he wants is the Clear Blue Easy box and instructions.  Like somehow the box is going to give him something more than the test.  We had been "trying" but I say it loosely because we had been having unprotected sex for over a year and nothing. My husband is 40 and has NEVER had a pregnancy scare in his life, me either for that matter.  Finally we decided to pay attention to my ovulation for a couple of months to see if it was our bad timing or fertility... Clearly we were the problem not our baby making abilities. ; )

It seems like overnight I started being seriously pregnant.  My breast hurt so bad I couldn't let the shower hit them.  I was so tired I lived in a funny daze and my cramping got worse. Then around week 5 I was SICK SICK SICK!!!! I mean from the moment I woke up, and sometimes I woke up from being sick around 5:30-6am, to the moment I fell back asleep. I started drinking milk, yes small glasses of milk as soon as I woke up. It really helped me but I have heard it makes others sick.  Then I started the google search for a cure... crackers, fruit, ginger, salty potato chips... It's really hard to find what works, especially when rarely does one thing work for one that helps another. I'm 12 weeks and the last two days have been just like the begining of week 5. I have been sick for the past 48 hours. At times I think I am going to go effing crazy!

Then the worse thing started happening... the gas! I am blushing right now because it is really embarrassing. I do find my solace in knowing EVERY pregnant woman deals with it. It is BAD!  I mean loud, stinky, clear a room/movie theater bad. Point and case, I was bent over the bathroom sink brushing my teeth a week ago.  I,  oh how should I put this, oh geez I let out a death inside me so loud and for so long my husband came close and said, "Please tell me that was a soap bottle? The ketchup bottle? Anything but your ass!"  My poor husband, nearly threw up from the smell and walked off.  Still I HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!!! Then again I used it to my advantage the other day.  I needed my nephew to get moving but he wanted to keep playing with his toys. Lets just say he stopped what he was doing and left the room immediately, he was not impressed though. ;)

Geez, ladies it's really hard to grow a human. I feel awful that I hate it so much but I do.  I know I will love this baby with all of my heart and will be a great mom but so far I suck! I have faith though that by the 9th month I will be ready and full of patience.

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com


  1. I laughed so much reading this, I have the worse toilet humour. I'm 9wks with number 2 and this blog reminds me of my 1st pregnancy!

  2. Thanks,Claire! I'm sure I will look back one day and find it funny... ; ) I cannot believe you are doing it all over again. Crazy girl!

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  4. I have an 8yr old daughter and we have been ttc for a long time now. I had a miscarriage last year and its been difficult trying again being heartbroken every month and i must say that your story made me smile and laugh. Thank you so much and good luck to you both.