Jul 29, 2011

Pregnancy has made me a moron

I have heard the pregnancy issue of stupidity is sometimes called the "Baby Brain." Whatever it is I have become the most forgetful, inarticulate, confused moron. It's unreal! I stumble over my words, I cannot remember what I am talking about half the time, where I am going, what I am doing and have to constantly write down the really important things.

Like the filthy gas and constant peeing I know EVERY pregnant woman experiences this. Even those nasty bitches who "love being pregnant," they are morons too!!! (probably the biggest morons of all!)

It is so embarrassing when talking to a client, completely forgetting what I am saying or planning to say.  I have to print everything out and put it in talking order and fully review it before a meeting. Sure I should always do that, but before baby I was great at Bull$#!ting and being a fast thinker... now not so much. From what I hear I will be a complete moron my entire pregnancy...

It's a wonder with all we go through to grow a human, how anyone can enjoy it!  I am a hormonal bitchy dumb-ass with a daily mission of breaking the day befores' record for peeing, flatulence and nausea. I should be used for the next advertising campaign for abstinence! Seriously.

I have also heard that one forgets about exactly how bad pregnancy sucks.  This really must be true because smart people have multiple children all the time.  I am one of three, my husband is too and both of our moms are pretty savvy ladies. I'm starting to think the "baby brain" wipes the memory at the end.  Thank God I have this site to remind me when my memory is cleared...

Two confused parents=One amused baby Hopelessly we are trying raise a baby who is clearly smarter than both of us. April is an award-winning writer and blogger. Her work has been published in over ten countries and four languages. From books to newspapers, to print/online magazines and everything in between, you can find her work. For more on April, Visit AprilMcCormick.com

4 comments:

  1. With my 1st I made up words too, so sure they meant what I thought, while hubby looked at me like I was crazy. Lol! As for having more than 1 it took me 3 years and the threat of now or never to have number 2. However I have a crazy friend how hated pregnancy so much she decided to have 2 one after the other and a week before her first son's birthday she gave birth to number 2, I don't think she ever got over her baby brain!

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  3. In a meeting today I announced that we will have another meeting in the second week of Tuesday...

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  4. Too funny! You just made my day. I love when I know I'm not alone!

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